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by
Section 4
SYLVIE
SAM
RAJ
NEIL
RAJ
SAM
BONES
DOC DASH (HINDU; SUBTITLED)
Sam is suspicious of Doc. Sam nudges Bones.
SAM
BONES
DOC DASH (HINDU; SUBTITLED)
RAJ (HINDU; SUBTITLED)
TRI-SPLITSCREEN: INT. RAJ, GOVIN & NB'S CABS - NIGHT
RAJ/GOVIN/NB
INT/EXT. DOC'S CAB - NIGHT Sam leans into the front and rips the radio mic cord out.
DOC DASH
Bones presses his fingers like a gun into Doc's neck.
BONES
SAM
INTERCUT WITH: INT. DET. SYLVIE'S CAR - NIGHT
SYLVIE
SAM
INT/EXT. HANGAR ROW/DOC'S CAB - DAWN Doc's Cab creeps to a stop behind a building.
DOC DASH
BONES
DOC DASH
Bones is freaked and lowers his hand.
DOC DASH
SAM
DOC DASH
Sam and Bones look at each other. "A Doctor?!"
DOC DASH
TJ, Maurice and Henri stand beside a CESSNA CITATION CJ1 JET,
DOC DASH
Maurice heads to the hangar and Henri steps into the Jet. The
DOC DASH
BONES
SAM
Sam slides out.
BONES
SAM
Bones slides out behind Sam. INT/EXT. SOUTH HANGAR GATE/RAJ'S CAB/TRAVELING - DAWN Raj leads a convoy of Cabs speeding past the South Gate. The Pinging returns to Neil's Hand-held.
NEIL
RAJ
Neil hangs on as Raj hangs a U-turn. The other Cabs maneuver to avoid him. INT. HANGAR 13/KITCHEN - MORNING Maurice grabs food from a cupboard.
CONK! Bones Karate chops him. Bones grabs the apple from
BONES
Bones is wearing Baggage Handler's COVERALLS. He takes a bite. Sam enters.
SAM
EXT. HANGAR 13 - MORNING Neil and Raj peek from behind another building. TJ's by the Jet, the Black Briefcase beside him on the tarmac.
NEIL
RAJ
EXT. HANGAR 13 - MORNING TJ checks his watch. The Pilot approaches.
TJ
The Pilot heads for the Jet.
TJ
A BAGGAGE TRAM motors from the hangar. Maurice is sprawled
SAM
TJ
SAM
TJ
Sam steps off the Tram with the Box and takes a few steps.
SAM
TJ grabs the Briefcase at his feet and holds it up.
TJ
They each unlatch their cases. Sam opens his. TJ opens his. Both cases are empty! TJ pulls his gun.
TJ
Bones pops out from the back of the Tram aiming the MOFO.
BONES
Sirens in the distance. Sam smiles at TJ.
TJ
TJ backs up toward the Jet, keeping his gun on Sam. Sam
TJ
Neil jumps out from behind the CB'S Cab.
NEIL
Neil tackles Bones and they smash into Maurice. They tumble
The Jet revs up and inches away. Henri holds the door open. Maurice joins the fray. They all wrestle for the MOFO.
TJ
Maurice nails Bones and the MOFO goes flying. The Laser slides to Neil. His eyes widen as he picks it up.
NEIL
BONK! Bones whacks Neil unconscious with a suitcase.
Maurice sees Bones picking up the MOFO and TWO Police cars
TJ catches up to the Jet door. Sam maintains his distance,
Bones races after Maurice. BWEEP. He powers up the MOFO.
BONES
Bones stops beside Sam, aiming the Laser at TJ. Henri drags Mary to the door and holds his gun to her head.
SAM
Bones sees Mary right behind TJ as Maurice climbs aboard.
BONES
TJ
As the Jet revs up, TJ jumps in the door behind Maurice. Sam closes the Black Box and bolts toward the Jet.
BONES
Raj and Doc's Cabs skid to a stop on either side of Bones.
BONES/RAJ
Doc yells to Raj.
DOC DASH
RAJ
TWO COP CARS approach in the distance. EXT. RUNWAY - MORNING Sam runs full out. The Jet turns onto the runway. Henri struggles to fold the stairs onto the door.
Sam jumps on the wing. He scrambles across. The engines
Henri locks the stairs to the door. He laughs at Sam as he
Sam dives. BAM! He jams the Box in the Jet door just as Henri
Sam holds onto the door frame. He's buffeted sideways by the
Henri shoulders open the door and kicks the Box inside. He
TJ
OOF! Sam takes a kick to his out-stretched stomach. SMASH!
Sam lets go. He slides back but snags onto the wing. Henri closes the door.
Sam sees Mary in the window. Mary's drugged and confused by
The engines scream louder as the Jet picks up speed. Raj pulls up alongside Doc's Cab. Bones waves for Sam to jump.
SAM
The two Cabs race along together behind the Jet.
SEVEN other CABS converge with Raj and Doc's Cabs, blocking
INTERCUT WITH: INT. DET. SYLVIE'S CAR - MORNING
Sylvie dodges back and forth around the Cab convoy trying to
SYLVIE
Sylvie watches as... Sam readies himself. Doc inches closer. Sam releases and flies onto the hood of Doc's Cab. Doc weaves.
BONES
The Jet rockets away and lifts-off. The seven Cabs fall in formation around Doc and Raj's Cabs. Doc slows a bit and Raj pulls up alongside.
Raj positions his Cab so his back window is beside Sam, a
Sam looks at Doc and Bones. Yes! Yes! They wave him on. Sam dives across, into Raj's Cab. INT/EXT. RAJ'S CAB/RUNWAY - MORNING Sam lands on the back seat.
BONES
RAJ (HINDU; SUBTITLED)
SIX-SPLIT SCREEN: INT. ALL CABS/TRAVELING - MORNING
ALL THE CABBIES
END SIX-SPLIT SCREEN: The Cabs break formation and weave and circle each other. INTERCUT WITH: INT/EXT. SYLVIE'S CAR - MORNING Sylvie tries to locate Sam in the muddle of Cabs.
SYLVIE
Sylvie shouts over her car's PA.
SYLVIE
SAM
RAJ
Sam and Bones duck in the back seat. From overhead it looks like a traveling shell game.
SYLVIE
The Cabs disperse in all directions.
SYLVIE
The Cop cars swerve to follow three Cabs that have split off.
SYLVIE (O.S.)
EXT. DORVAL/END OF A RUNWAY - MORNING
SAM/BONES/RAJ (O.S.)
Raj's Cab slams through a chain-link gate and bounces through
EXT. HANGAR 13 - MORNING
Neil comes to. The Tracker is beside him, the Beeps fading.
EXT. TARMAC NEAR SOUTH GATE - DAY The Cabs are lined up, Cabbies in front. Sylvie paces.
SYLVIE
The Cabbies exchange looks then burst into rapid-fire Hindu. Off Sylvie... INT. AIR-TRAFFIC CONTROL TOWER - DAY
Neil is talking with an Air Traffic CONTROLLER. He shakes the
INT/EXT. RAJ'S CAB/TRAVELING - DAY The Cab races onto the highway. A sign: Kingston 120 kms. Bones turns, shocked to see at the side of the road... Spike and Larry fixing a flat on Howard's Lexus.
SAM
BONES
BONES
Sam is deep in thought.
BONES
SAM
RAJ
BONES
RAJ
SAM
Bones slides his hand into his pants and pulls out the MOFO.
BONES
Sam grabs the Laser and powers it off. Bones swallows hard, rubbing his crotch.
SAM
INT. TJ'S JET/IN-FLIGHT - DAY
MAURICE
Maurice picks up the Black Box off a seat and holds it up.
TJ
Maurice carries it to the garbage. Maurice likes the Black
INT. HOWARD'S HOME/MASTER BEDROOM - DAY Howard, in PJ's and an eye-mask, hits the bed...Ring!!!
HOWARD
INTERCUT WITH:INT.DORVAL AIRPORT/NEAR TICKET COUNTERS-DAY Neil, on his cell, holds two plane TICKETS. His Tracker Pings.
NEIL
Howard pushes the mask up. His comb-over stands straight. EXT. BLUE WATER MOTEL/KINGSTON, ONT. - DAY
Raj's Cab stops at the door. A sign welcomes the:
INT. BLUE WATER MOTEL/KINGSTON, ONT. - DAY
Sam and Bones head for the front desk. Every flavour of
SAM
BONES
SAM
BONES
Sam and Bones pass a BUTCH/FEMME COUPLE with their SUITCASE
BONES
SAM
INT. HOWARD'S FOYER - DAY DING-DONG. Howard opens the door. His comb over's a disaster.
GOVINDAPPA
EXT. HOWARD'S HOUSE - DAY
Govin's Cab takes off with Howard in back, passing Lady Cop
INT/EXT. LADY COP'S CAR - DAY
LADY COP
Lady Cop takes off in pursuit. INT. AIRPORT/DEPARTURE AREA - MORNING Sylvie listens through her ear-piece.
LADY COP (V.O.)
Sylvie's pissed. In the distance, behind Sylvie...
Neil's laid out across a bench, snoring. His Tracker is
Neil shifts, squeezing her more. The Old Lady whacks his head
INT. BLUE WATER MOTEL/FRONT DESK - DAY Sam and Bones sidle up next to some more colourful FOLKS.
SAM
The Snooty DESK CLERK fiddles on his computer.
SNOOTY DESK CLERK
SAM
BONES
Snooty gives them a look then fiddles some more.
SNOOTY DESK CLERK
Sam and Bones turn their back to Snooty.
BONES
SAM
They turn back. Snooty is looking extra snooty now.
BONES
SNOOTY DESK CLERK
Sam reaches across the counter and grabs Snooty by the jacket.
SAM
The huge Black RASTAFARIAN MANAGER steps over to the scuffle.
RASTAFARIAN MANAGER
Sam and Bones look at each other.
SAM
BONES
They walk away from the counter, freaked. Sam looks around thinking.
BONES
SAM
Sam leads them away.
The Butch/Femme Couple are turned away. Sam nods toward their
INT/EXT. BLUE WATER MOTEL - DAY Raj's jaw drops as a Flamboyant Duo gets out of a CAB nearby. Sam and Bones scoot out the front door and hop in Raj's Cab.
SAM
Raj guns it as Bones checks the bags.
BONES
INT. AIRPORT/DEPARTURE AREA - DAY
Neil is asleep. He is seriously bruised and battered from a
It's Howard. He wakes Neil who is lying on the floor in front
Neil struggles awake. INT. AIRPORT/DEPARTURE AREA/WASHROOMS - DAY Neil and Howard exit.
HOWARD
NEIL
HOWARD
NEIL
They pass Lady Cop as he speaks. She watches Howard's ass a
LADY COP
INT. AIRPORT/TICKET COUNTERS - DAY Sylvie listens to her ear piece then tells the TICKET AGENT...
SYLVIE
INT. RAJ'S CAB/TRAVELING - DAY Bones head grooves to Raj's Indian music tape. Sam hangs up his cell. He passes a note to Raj, beside him.
RAJ
Bones fishes through the Suitcases laid out on the back seat.
INT. AIRPLANE/FIRST CLASS - DAY Howard and Neil move through first class and into economy. INT. AIRPLANE/ECONOMY - DAY
The plane is filling up. Neil and Howard work their way
Neil trips and catches himself on a PRIEST'S shoulder.
NEIL
The Priest crosses himself. Neil is embarrassed.
Neil turns to see what tripped him. The Old Lady smirks as
Neil stops at his row. Howard continues back further. Neil
EXT. MARY'S APARTMENT BUILDING - DAY Mrs. W, Envelope in hand, paces in the drive. Doc pulls up, hops out and races around to open her door. Mrs. W gives him the once-over. Doc gives her a smile. Sparks are flying. Mrs. W. waves at him to hurry and gets in the Cab. Doc races back and hops in. The Cab speeds away. INT. AIRPLANE/ECONOMY - DAY
Howard falls into his window seat. He pulls out his mask and
INT. AIRPORT/DEPARTURE AREA/LADIES' ROOM - DAY
Bones appears. He is resplendent in a Carmen Miranda number.
Sam is wearing the natty raw silk suit.
SAM
BONES
Bones pecks him on the cheek. EXT. AIRPORT/DEPARTURE DOORS - DAY
Doc's Cab slides to the curb with Mrs. W. Govin waves for
INT. AIRPORT/TICKET COUNTERS - DAY
Sam slips the two Tickets to Jamaica out of the bent Envelope
BONES
The AGENT flips through the Tickets.
TICKET AGENT
Bones giggles and embraces Sam. Bones plays it to the hilt.
SAM
Bones breaks and drapes himself across the counter.
BONES
TICKET AGENT
BONES
The Agent is not amused. Govin, Doc and Mrs. W. hurry through the CROWD.
Raj waves them over. Mrs. W. hands Raj the Envelope. Raj
RAJ
PASSENGERS double take. They're so not cousins. Raj embraces Sam. He slips Sam the Envelope. They break. Sam hands the Agent Mary's PASSPORT.
SAM
The Agent compares Mary's picture with Bones. Bones' smiles. INT. AIRPORT/NEAR SECURITY CHECK-IN - DAY
Sam and Bones are at the entrance with Raj, Govin, Doc Dash
RAJ
Govin bows, reciting a Hindu Blessing as Raj translates.
GOVINDAPPA (HINDU)
RAJ
SAM
Mascara runs down Bones' teary cheek. Raj passes him a hanky. Sam approaches Mrs. W.
MRS. WORTHINGTON
SAM
Mrs. W kisses Sam on the cheek.
MRS. WORTHINGTON
INT. AIRPORT/SECURITY CHECK-IN DESK - DAY
Bones' Vanity is open in front of Inspector Giselle, from the
Giselle is riffling the contents. She opens a compact.
BONES
Giselle passes it to Bones and continues searching. She grabs
BONES
Sam watches in the background.
Giselle digs deeper, handing more clothes to Bones. She pulls
BONES
Giselle is impressed. She stuffs the sex Toy on top of the
Bones fumbles to pick up the case and steps away, stumbling
INT. AIR JAMAICA JET/BUSINESS CLASS - DAY
Sam shows the boarding passes to the FLIGHT ATTENDANT. She
BONES
Bones drops into his aisle seat.
SAM
Sam heads for the head.
BONES
Before Sam closes the door, he sees...
Sylvie enters, disguised as a MUSTACHED man. Sylvie and Bones
Sylvie continues through to Economy. INT. AIR JAMAICA JET/ECONOMY - DAY
Sylvie passes by Neil who doesn't recognize her. Sylvie
Beside Howard, asleep under his mask. INT. AIR JAMAICA JET/BUSINESS CLASS - DAY Sam steps over Bones and takes the window seat. The two Inmates from Sam's Fantasy enter and pass. Sam double takes. Each Inmate eyes Bones. One offers a throaty growl.
BONES
INT. AIR JAMAICA JET/ECONOMY - DAY
The Inmates trudge down the aisle. They stuff themselves into
Neil grabs the travel Brochure from the seat pocket. The same
EXT. AIRPORT/TARMAC - DAY
All the Cabs are parked along the roadway to the airport
INT. AIR JAMAICA JET/BUSINESS CLASS - DAY Sam taps Bones to look out the window. They wave back. INT. AIR JAMAICA JET/BUSINESS CLASS - LATER Bones reads "VOGUE". Sam hands the Attendant the Brochure.
SAM
The Attendant heads back, passing Neil and the Inmates and
Howard, asleep beside Sylvie. The Attendant offers the
ATTENDANT
Sylvie, intrigued, takes it. Written over an ad for the Blue
Sylvie looks toward the front where... Sam stares out the widow at the Island of Jamaica below. EXT. JAMAICAN FORTIFIED ESTATE - DAY
Armed GUARDS patrol the VILLA, set in the rocky cliffs. On
She passes the Bad Boys and Girls loading weapons and scuba
Beauty stops behind TJ who talks with Botha. Botha cracks a
BOTHA
TJ
A Chinese MAN hangs, tied by his feet. Blood drips from lash-
Botha hands Beauty the whip. She caresses TJ's cheek with it.
BEAUTY
Botha unsheathes a Sword and cuts the rope. The Man's screams
BOTHA
Screams shake TJ. He sees a bloody water drop land on
BOTHA
Beauty displays the $2.5 MILLION DOLLARS in neat bundles
BOTHA
TJ's slapped hard on the shoulder from behind. It's the Chef.
CHEF
The Chef shoves a bloody shark-burger at TJ's face.
TJ
EXT. AIR JAMAICA JET - DAY On the Tarmac the gangway is attached to the Plane.
On the far side of the plane Hindu baggage GUYS unload the
BINDI
RAJ
OTHER SIDE: Sam and Bones hurry down the gangway.
BONES
They make their way across the tarmac. Neil steps out of the plane just as...
TWO TRAMS with COVERED BAGGAGE TROLLIES converge on Sam and
Raj pops his head out from under the canvas baggage cover.
RAJ
Neil sees the Trams diverge. Sam and Bones are gone. Neil checks his Hand-Held.
INTO THE SCREEN: past the pulsing red Blip, flying over
DISSOLVE THROUGH: EXT. FORTRESS DOCK - DAY
...Pulsing Blip on Gringo's Screen which he shows Botha on
SEAGULLS dive for the remains of the Man.
GRINGO
The Cabin Cruiser with Bad Kids pulls away from the dock.
BOTHA
The Chef slaps Gringo from behind.
CHEF
GRINGO
EXT. WATER - DAY Beauty drives a CIGAR BOAT. Botha and Gringo sip drinks. EXT. BLUE WATER/FRONT DOORS - DAY
A SIGN: JAMAICAN & SAN SEBASTIAN ENERGY SHARING GALA TODAY.
A TV Jamaica CREW tapes MICHAEL SHARPE and CAROL FRANCIS.
MICHEAL SHARPE
Botha steps up between PRESIDENT NATHAN COLERIDGE (50s) and
CARROL FRANCIS
Bones is entranced with Akisha. Akisha sees Bones, in drag, staring at her. She turns away.
MICHEAL SHARPE
PRES. COLERIDGE
Sam notices Bones is bewitched. Sam pulls him along.
SAM
Bones tags along, eyes still glued on Akisha, until he walks
CARROL FRANCIS
BONES
SAM
RAJ
INT. BLUE WATER/FRONT DESK - DAY
DESK CLERK
Bones doesn't look much like a Mister to the DESK CLERK.
BONES
DESK CLERK
SAM
DESK CLERK
The Desk Clerk goes and gets the keys.
BONES
SAM
BONES
SMITHSON, the Bellhop, appears. He's onto Bones' drag-gag.
CLERK
He indicates a shop across the lobby.
SAM
Smithson reaches to take the Vanity from Bones.
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