return to screenplay menu
MEET ME IN KINGSTON

by
Chris Tammaro
and Glenn Pineau

Section 1



















             INT. TROPICAL BEACH/FANTASY - DAY

             MARY WORTHINGTON(28-Black) saunters across the sand. ASTRID
             GILBERTO'S, THE GIRL FROM IPANEMA, FADES IN.

                                 ASTRID (V.O.)
                       Tall and tan and young and lovely,
                       the girl from Ipanema goes walking...

             A MAN'S VOICE, singing off-key, joins in.

                                 ASTRID/MAN (O.S.)
                       ...and when she passes, each one
                       she passes, goes aaah.

             SAM REAGAN(32-White) in his JANITOR'S UNIFORM matches Mary's
             stride, eyeing her from a distance. He pushes a floating
             CLEANING CART over the sand.

             Mary releases her SARONG to the wind revealing a DENTAL FLOSS
             BIKINI. Sam's brown goddess heads to the sea.

                                 ASTRID/SAM
                       How can I tell her I love her?...

             Mary splashes, water rivulets bead sensually over her body.
             A RED DORY bobs in the ocean behind her.

             Sam pushes his cart, oblivious to the COCONUT TREE bent
             across his path.

                                 ASTRID/SAM
                       Yes I would give my heart gladly...

             Mary turns. Will she see him? She does! And she...SMILES!

             Sam's in Nirvana. Another step and he'll crash into the tree.

             INT. LASERTECH - NIGHT

             CRASH! Sam and his cart tumble down stairs in the corridor of
             the high tech facility.

             Sam lands hard. A JAMAICAN TRAVEL BROCHURE with a beautiful
             girl, similar to Mary, on the cover, lands on his face.

                                 SAM
                       Okay, who put those stairs there?

             Sam lifts the Brochure off his face and groans.

             A PENCIL-CAM, UPSIDE DOWN POV:

             Sam picks up the mess.

                                 SAM
                       But each day when she walks to the
                       sea...

             Behind Sam, a black-clad, masked INFILTRATOR 1, drops to the
             floor in stealth mode. He wears the head-mounted PENCIL CAM.
 

             Sam rights his cart. Sam and Mary HAPPY SNAPS adorn the sides.

             The Infiltrator cartwheels to a door, hot-wires the card
             reader and disappears inside.

             Sam turns. Nothing there.

             Another Infiltrator 2, sneaks unseen through a large,
             windowed work area and vanishes.

             Sam rubs his head and pushes his cart around the corner.

                                 SAM/ASTRID
                       ...she looks straight ahead not at me.

             INTERCUT WITH: INT. STYLIN' BACHELOR CONDO - NIGHT

             A pencil tip writes on a pad of paper: $3,...

                                 WRITING MAN (O.S.)
                       Gringo Diago, parle to moi.

             Writing Man is hidden in a high-backed chair.

             GRINGO DIAGO(20-Albino) presses an AUDIO FILE ICON on a DUAL-
             SCREEN LAPTOP. An I-POD plays the file into a CELL PHONE.

                                 WEIRD OLD MAN'S VOICE (ON SPEAKER)
                       I really hope this is the right
                       number...

             INTERCUT WITH: INT. LASERTECH/SECURITY DESK - NIGHT

             ED the Security Guard, on the phone, is perplexed.

                                 WEIRD OLD MAN'S VOICE (V.O.)
                       ...because I was wondering if you
                       could help me?

             Behind Ed, on one of the SECURITY MONITORS, Sam trundles on.

             On Gringo's other screen is LaserTech's Security Site. A
             dialogue box flashes: SECURITY SYSTEM DISABLED.

                                 GRINGO
                       That's sick!

             Gringo punches other keys, then ENTER.

             Ed's monitors flutter. On one, Sam, pushing his cart down the
             hallway, repeats in a LOOPED PLAYBACK, recorded by Gringo.

             Ed, distracted by the phone call, doesn't notice.

                                 ED
                       Hello?

             Sam pushes through the windowed door. They swing shut.

             A third Infiltrator 3, slips by behind the doors.

             Sam, about to turn back, shrugs and heads to a door marked
             CLEANING SUPPLIES.

             Gringo touches the next audio file icon.

                                 WEIRD OLD MAN'S VOICE (ON SPEAKER)
                       Yes, I need help with my thingy...

                                 ED
                       Your thingy?

             All monitors are quiet except one, where Sam's actions repeat.

             GRINGO'S screen displays a second FLASHING Dialogue Box:
             SECURITY MONITORS DISABLED. His other screen has a POV VIDEO
             IMAGE transmitted from the Pencil-cam worn by Infiltrator 1.

             Writing continues: $3,000...now we see the Diamond-ringed
             fingers of the Mulatto Man.

             Sam opens the Supplies door, blocking his view of the
             windowed doors as Infiltrators 2 and 3 race by, the other way.

                                 WEIRD OLD MAN'S VOICE (V.O.)
                       Yes. My thingy isn't straight and I
                       was wondering if you could help me?

             Sam peeks around. Nothing there. Oh well...

             INT. LASERTECH/RESEARCH AREA - NIGHT

             The three Infiltrators enter. Infiltrator 1 is BONES(32-
             Black). He military-style hand signals to the other two then
             crosses to a SAFE.

             Infiltrator 2, SPIKE, has GOTHIC PIERCINGS protruding from
             the eye, nose and mouth holes in his mask. He whispers.

                                 SPIKE (SIGNING)
                       What?

             Bones returns furious hand signals.

             Spike and Infiltrator 3, LARRY, whisper and sign.

                                 SPIKE
                       What did he say?

                                 LARRY
                       You're a whore?

                                 SPIKE
                       You're a bastard!

             Bones glares and whispers louder.

                                 BONES
                       Guard the damn door!

             Now they get it.

             Bones attaches a TINY SPEAKER wired from his CELLULAR'S
             EARPHONE JACK to the Safe door.

             Bones scrolls on the cell's MENU and activates 'ALADDIN'.
             COMPUTER TONES emanate from the speaker, then stop.

             Nothing. Bones sweats. Spike whispers and signs to Larry.

                                 SPIKE
                       This ain't so groovy, anymore.

             Over Mulatto Man's diamond-studded ROLEX: $3,000...

                                 WEIRD OLD MAN'S VOICE (V.O.)
                       Isn't this The Laser Dick company?

             The Safe: CLICK

             Bones smiles, he's in. He reaches for the handle.

                                 WEIRD OLD MAN'S VOICE (V.O.)
                       My boyfriend told me Laser Dick
                       can help me with my crooked thingy.

             PENCIL-CAM POV of Bones inching the handle down.

             Mulatto Man's pencil scratches another zero: $3,000,000...

                                 ED
                       Damn kids!

             BANG! Ed slams the phone down.
             BANG! The safe handle is down.
             BANG! Gringo hits the table.

                                 GRINGO
                       Bingo!

             Mulatto Man's pencil snaps as he underlines: $3,000,000.

             INT. LASERTECH/LOCKER ROOM - NIGHT

             Two AIR JAMAICA TICKETS. Sam kisses them and slips them in an
             Envelope addressed to MARY, MY LOVE and puts it in his BAG.

                                 SAM
                       ...and when she passes...

             Sam checks his clubbing threads in the locker mirror. More
             Sam and Mary Happy Snaps are taped to the door.

             He slips on his MONTREAL CANADIENS HOCKEY TEAM JACKET with
             SAM embroidered on the breast.

                                 SAM
                       ...each one she passes goes...

             INT. LASERTECH/SECURITY DESK - NIGHT

             Ed turns. Sam's actions replay on the monitor.

                                 ED
                       AAAH!

             He punches a SILENT ALARM.

             Ed and a FEMALE GUARD stalk the corridors with guns drawn.

             EXT. LASERTECH/PARKING LOT - NIGHT

             Sam, bag over one shoulder, is on his cell.

                                 SAM
                       No baby, I said I couldn't get off
                       before 10:30.

             INTERCUT WITH INT. SOFA CLUB - NIGHT

             Mary sits alone, on her cell, in the busy, ultra lounge music
             club. She's hotter than Sam's dream but...not smiling.

                                 MARY
                       No baby, you said you'd meet me at
                       the Sofa at 10:30.

             A SMOOTH OPERATOR sidles up close, eyeing Mary.

                                 MARY
                       Buzz off, loser.

                                 SAM
                       Loser?!

                                 MARY
                       Not you, Sammy.

                                 SAM
                       Mary look, I'm sorry. I must've
                       misunderstood but I'll be right
                       there. I got something great to
                       show you. You'll love it! Promise.

             INT. STYLIN' BACHELOR CONDO - NIGHT

             The chair spins revealing the Mulatto hands belong to...TJ
             JOHNSON(40). He's calm, cool, collected and lethal. TJ rips
            the page from the pad and crumples it in his fist.

             Gringo packs up his computers.

                                 GRINGO
                       With that be cash, or cash?

                                 TJ
                       Don't worry, you'll get what you
                       deserve.

             Gringo eyes TJ.

                                 GRINGO
                       Ask around and see, my friend.
                       Gringo Diago is your worst choice
                       as a rip-off candidate.

                                 TJ
                       Your reputation precedes you, Amigo.

             Gringo returns to packing.

             EXT. LASERTECH PARKING LOT - NIGHT

             Beside his OLD PANEL VAN, Sam pulls his KEYS from his pocket.

             A LOONIE falls out and rolls away. Sam dives down to chase it.

             Two Infiltrators race past nearby parked cars.

             On the ground, Sam is sure he's heard something this time.

             The Guards exit a back door and see...

             The Infiltrators running across the manicured grounds.

                                 ED
                       FREEZE!

             BANG! ED fires a warning shot. The Guards take chase.

             Sam, Loonie in hand, bolts up beside the Van.

             The Guards hoof it after the Infiltrators into the distance.

             Sam steps around the back of the Van. BAM! A third
             Infiltrator, in full flight, plows right into Sam.

             They crash to the ground. Sam's keys fly under a car.

             The Masked Man groans. Sam pulls the Infiltrator's hood off.

                                 SAM
                       Bones?

             Bones opens one eye.

                                 BONES
                       Oh Lordie, that hurt.

             Sam can't believe it!

                                 BONES
                       Double-oh-seven, Sammy. Licence to
                       thrill.

                                 ED (O.S.)
                       Freeze! You two! Freeze!

             Sam turns toward the distant voice.

             SMASH! Bones knocks out Sam with a small BLACK METAL BOX.

                                 BONES
                       Sorry, buddy.

             Bones gets up. He sees...

             The Guards run over a hill.

             SIRENS blare in the distance. Bones looks for an escape, then
             down at a half-conscious Sam. Bones gets an idea.

             POLICE CARS swarm the compound. The Guards return to the
             parking lot, empty handed and upset.

             DETECTIVE SYLVIE FRECHETTE exits her UNMARKED CAR, dispersing
             OFFICERS around and into LaserTech. The Guards run over to
             her by Sam's Van.

                                 ED
                       Two got away but there's one more!

                                 SYLVIE
                       Is he still in the building?

                                 ED
                       I don't know. Our security system--

                                 MUFFLED MAN'S VOICE (O.S.)
                       Help.

             They turn and pull their guns.

                                 SYLVIE
                       Arretez! Police!

             An Infiltrator crawls next to the van. He pulls off his mask.

                                 ED
                       Sam Reagan?

             It's Sam!..with a SOCK jammed in his mouth. He spits it out,
             gasping.

                                 SAM
                       Water.

             INT. SOFA CLUB - NIGHT

             Mary checks her watch. A drink is placed on her table.

                                 MARY
                       I didn't order this.

                                 WAITRESS
                       It's from Monsieur TJ, ma chere.

             Mary turns to see TJ acknowledge her.

                                 MARY
                       Tell Mr. Johnson that I don't
                       accept drinks from strange men.

                                 WAITRESS
                       He don't take no for an answer.

                                 MARY
                       He has from me, ma chere.

             The Waitress shrugs and leaves the drink anyway.

             TJ makes his way through his adoring CLIENTELE toward Mary.

                                 MARY
                       Damn you, Sam Reagan.

                                 TJ
                       Hey, sugar.

             EXT. DEAD END DIRT LANE - NIGHT

             Bones stops short, panting. He's in Sam's clothes and hockey
             jacket, three sizes too big. He sees...

             Weaving SKID MARKS in the dirt indicating a fast get-away.

                                 BONES
                       Traitors! Bastards! Wimps!

             INT. LASERTECH/OFFICE - NIGHT

             Sam takes a drink of water as a MEDIC tends to his head. He
             picks sock LINT from his teeth.

             Sylvie leans on a NO SMOKING sign and exhales smoke at Sam.

                                 SAM
                       After that I heard a shot and Ed
                       yelling something. Then I woke up
                       where you found me.

                                 SYLVIE
                       I don't have the money for this
                       shit you're trying to sell me!
                       Now, for the third time, I want
                       you to tell me the real answer,
                       Mr?...

                                 SAM
                              (simmering)
                       Reagan. I told you five times.
                       Someone switched clothes with me!
                       My backpack's missing.

                                 SAM
                       I had two tickets for Jamaica in
                       there! I'm the victim here, okay!

             SECOND DETECTIVE raps on the glass outside the office for
             Sylvie. He's with ALBERT BOTHA(50s), the owner of LaserTech.

             Sylvie makes her way to the door.

                                 SAM
                       Look, I want my phone call.

                                 SYLVIE
                       Mais oui, the lawyer disguised as
                       a janitor.

             The Cops in the office smirk at Sam.

             Second Detective hands Sylvie Sam's car keys.

             Sam watches as Sylvie speaks with Botha. They all look at Sam.

             Sam scans the room. Everyone's staring. Sylvie returns.

                                 SYLVIE
                       There's a very bad smell about
                       you...
                              (in Sam's face)
                       I find out you lied to me I'll
                       lock you up faster than you can
                       say, Montreal Canadiens...

             EXT. TROPICAL BEACH/FANTASY - DAY

             Sylvie, in a DIOR/COP tropical get-up, pushes Sam into a JAIL
             CELL. Two biker INMATES toast Sam with umbrella drinks.

                                 SYLVIE (V.O.)
                       ...and throw away the lock!

             Sylvie laughs as she throws away the key. Mary watches from
             the shore with a disapproving scowl.

             INT. LASERTECH/OFFICE - NIGHT

                                 SYLVIE
                       It's your little fantasie, Samuel
                       Thomas Reagan. And it stinks.

             Sylvie drops Sam's keys in his crotch.

                                 SYLVIE
                       Your boss, Mr. Botha, vouches for
                       you. Now get out of my eyes!

             Sam catches Botha, staring at him.

                                 SYLVIE
                       Va t'en!

             As Sam stands he looks over again. Botha's gone.

             INT. LASERTECH/REAR CORRIDOR - NIGHT

             Sam is about to exit a rear door.

                                 BOTHA (O.S.)
                       Sam.

             Botha steps out of the shadows.

                                 BOTHA
                       Hey, you okay to drive home?

                                 SAM
                       Yeah. And thanks for clearing me
                       back there, Mr. Botha.

                                 BOTHA
                       Sam, you deserve my protection. I
                       trust you. But, between you and I,
                       you're sure you didn't see any of
                       the thieves tonight?

                                 SAM
                       But, I thought nothing was stolen.

                                 BOTHA
                       Indeed Sam, you're quite correct.
                       But, the men who broke in, could
                       you identify any of them?

                                 SAM
                       No, sir. I really wish I could
                       tell you more, other than I've got
                       one sore head.

                                 BOTHA
                       Sam. Have a good night.

             Sam opens the door.

                                 SAM
                       You, too.

             INT. SOFA CLUB/WOMEN'S ROOM - NIGHT

             Mary's in a stall on her cell.

                                 MARY
                       Answer the phone, Sam. This is
                       your last chance.

             EXT. LASERTECH/PARKING LOT - NIGHT

             Sam opens the Van door. He hears a muffled, Hockey Night in
             Canada cellphone RING.

             Sam crouches and sees...his bag jammed under the Van.

             RING. Sam squirms, determined to reach the bag, inches away.

             INT. SOFA CLUB/WOMEN'S ROOM - NIGHT

             Impatient WOMEN wait in line. A WOMAN bangs on the door.

             Inside the stall, Mary hears another ring. She hangs up and
             opens the door to face the Woman.

                                 MARY
                       What!?

             EXT. LASERTECH/PARKING LOT - NIGHT

             Sam stretches. RRRIP! He's got his bag. He slides out from
             under the Van.

             Fumbling in a side pocket, Sam answers the cell as it stops
             mid-ring.

                                 SAM
                       Hello? Mary? Hello? Damn!

             Sam hops in the Van with his bag, his ass exposed in the
             ripped leotard.

             INT. SOFA CLUB - NIGHT

             Mary enters and sees...

             TJ waiting at her table.

             Mary's cell goes off. She checks the caller ID.

                                 MARY
                       You're going to have to grovel in
                       person this time, Sam Reagan.

             Mary hangs up, sighs and slips into a sexy saunter toward TJ.

             INT. GPS SECURITY SYSTEMS/CONTROL ROOM - NIGHT

             An ARAB TECH practices TAPE-RECORDED PHRASES. Behind him is
             a large bank of GPS TRACKING MONITORS.

                                 ARAB TECH
                              (heavy accent)
                       Ou est la toilette?

             INT/EXT.SAM'S VAN-TRAVELLING/LASERTECH-PARKING LOT - NIGHT

                                 SAM
                       Come on Mary, answer the phone!

             As Sam races through the gate trying to phone Mary, the Van
             trips a SENSOR. It's light changes from GREEN to FLASHING RED.

                                 RECORDED VOICE (V.O.)
                       J'ai besoin du papier du toilette.

             INT. GPS SECURITY SYSTEMS/CONTROL ROOM - NIGHT

                                 ARAB TECH
                       J'ai besoin--

             A RED BLIP begins to pulse and PING with a constant frequency
             and tone on one of the many monitors in front of him.

             Oh no! Panic! What to do?

             INT. HOWARD'S HOME/MASTER BEDROOM - NIGHT

             A ringing phone on a night table. GPS Security is displayed
             in the caller ID window. It's scooped up.

                                 HOWARD
                       This is Howard Bradford Hutchinson-
                       Braunstien for GPS Security
                       Systems. State your six digit
                       security code and your full name.

             Howard's bed-head, comb-over stands straight up.

                                 ARAB TECH (O.S.)
                       Five hundred and thirty-three
                       thousand,--

             Howard refers to a laminated sheet of codes and names.

                                 HOWARD
                       Not like that! Digit by digit.

                                 ARAB TECH (O.S.)
                       Oh. So sorry. Five-three-three--

                                 HOWARD
                      Is that two threes or did you
                       repeat the second digit?

                                 ARAB TECH
                       No. Not two-three, five-three-
                       three...

             INT. SOFA CLUB - NIGHT

             Mary stands at the table.

                                 MARY
                       Remind me again?

                                 TJ
                       Have a seat. Please.

             Mary slides in closer to TJ.

                                 MARY
                       Of all names, why Tyrone Johnson?
                       It's so...ethnic.

                                 TJ
                       Never stop pushing, do you Mary?

                                 MARY
                       Yeah TJ, but I know you better
                       than most. It's hard to keep
                       secrets from someone you've been--

                                 TJ
                       Close to, as in you and me?

                                 MARY
                       And Giselle?

             GISELLE, draped across a stool, throws Mary the evil eye.

                                 TJ
                       She's sugar-fine. Looks after her
                       daddy's every desire. But, it
                       don't come close to what you and
                       I shared. Now baby, that
                       was...special.

                                 MARY
                       That's so sweet. I'll give you
                       this TJ, you haven't lost the
                       gift. Even if you are full of crap.

             INT. HOWARD'S CAR/TRAVELING - NIGHT

             Howard's comb-over bends where it sticks into the roof.

             EXT. GPS SECURITY SYSTEMS - NIGHT

             Howard stops his Lexus and gets out to greet MCGUIRE NEIL.

                                 HOWARD
                       Thanks for waiting, Neil. A very
                      sensitive situation has developed
                       and I need to have a word with you
                       about it in private first.

                                 NEIL
                       I'm ready to do anything and
                       everything in my power to bring a
                       swift and satisfactory resolution
                       to the crisis our client is
                       experiencing at this time, Sir.

                                 HOWARD
                       Walk with me.

             Howard leads him through the parking lot.

                                 HOWARD
                       Do you have your RG-710?

             Neil holds up his GPS TRACKING device. (palm pilot size)

                                 NEIL
                       Never leave home without it. I've
                       acquired our quarry.

             Sam's Red Tracking Blip moves on the SCREEN MAP and Neil's
             static GREEN TRACKING DOT, indicating Neil's position, pulses.

                                 HOWARD
                       You're our best tracker at GPS
                       Security. In fact, you were the
                       only one I called for this mission.

             Neil dials up the Audio and Neil's Dot BEEPS with each pulse.

                                 NEIL
                       Roger that, Sir. He's close.

                                 HOWARD
                       I'm putting the latest acquisition
                       to our Tracking technology at your
                       disposal on this one, McGuire.

             Howard indicates the Jet-black MINI COOPER S in front of them.

                                 NEIL
                       Most excellent, sir. This'll
                       guarantee the little rascal will
                       be back in bed in no time.

             Neil is all over the Mini.

                                 HOWARD
                       I trust you completely on that,
                       Neil. But on this mission,
                       everything must be kept completely
                       confidential. Is that clear?

             Neil hops in. He powers on the DASH-BOARD GPS TRACKER, the
             same idea as Neil's Hand-held model.

                                 NEIL
                       As clear as the St. Lawrence
                       River, Sir.

             Neil fires up the Mini and glories at the sound.

                                 HOWARD
                       Neil, the St. Lawrence isn't
                       really that clear these days.

                                 NEIL
                       Oh. Then, like it was a long time
                       ago. Sir.

             Neil squeals away, grinding gears. Howard's...a bit confused.

             EXT. SOFA CLUB - NIGHT

             PATRONS wait in line. Sam stops, his Van door closest to the
             curb on the one-way road. He hops out and heads to the club.

             MAURICE, the huge bouncer stops him.

                                 MAURICE
                       Aie, Sammy, you can't leave your
                       van there.

                                 SAM
                       Just one minute, Maurice. Please?

             Sam opens the door revealing HENRI, Maurice's bigger Twin,
             the other bouncer. Maurice sees Sam's exposed behind.

                                 MAURICE
                       Aie, Sammy.

                                 SAM
                       Quoi?

             Henri sees Sam's ass as Sam turns back.

                                 MAURICE
                              (smirks at Henri)
                       Never mind.

             Sam passes by Henri.

                                 HENRI
                       Bonsoir, Sammy.

             The Mini slides to a stop, across the road.

             INT/EXT. NEIL'S MINI - NIGHT

             Neil aims his Hand-held at Sam's Van. The Beeping accelerates.

             INT. SOFA CLUB - NIGHT

             Sam enters and gets distracted by a Patron.

             Mary spies Sam by the door.

                                 MARY
                       Dance with me, TJ.

             Mary pulls TJ to the floor before he can refuse.

             Sam sees Mary and TJ dance. Sam breaks from the Patron.

                                 TJ
                       I thought you told Daddy TJ our
                       dancing days were over for good.

                                 MARY
                       My Momma always says, never say
                       never.

                                 TJ
                       Listen Mary, I got business to
                       take care of down south. Why not
                       come with, take in a little sun?

             Sam moves closer. Off his dismayed look.

             EXT. SOFA CLUB - NIGHT

             The Hand-held's Beeps speed up as Neil approaches the Van.

             Neil coaxes the sliding door open. Sam's Backpack lies
             between the seats. Neil holds the Tracker over the bag.

             Neil's green Dot and the red Blip on the Tracker screen
             align. The Beeps and Ping becomes a TONE.

                                 NEIL
                       There oughta be an award show for
                       guys like me!

             INT. GPS SECURITY SYSTEMS/CONTROL ROOM - NIGHT

             Howard slaps the Arab Tech on the back. The same Tracker
             alignment and tone are broadcast on the control screen.

                                 HOWARD
                              (checking his watch)
                       Son of a...That's got to be a new
                       record!

             INT. SOFA CLUB - NIGHT

             A small crowd's gathered behind Sam.

             Mary and TJ watch him but continue dancing.

             Sam approaches. People snicker but he ignores them.

                                 SAM
                       Hey, Mary. TJ.

                                 MARY
                       You're late, Sam.

                                 SAM
                       I know. Mary, can we go?

             Mary buries her head in TJ's shoulder as she turns TJ to Sam.

                                 TJ
                       Sam, what the hell are you wearing?

             Mary's snub hurt. Sam leaves, his ass poking out of the tear.

                                 TJ
                       What a fool.

             Tears well in Mary's eyes. Patrons laugh out loud.

             EXT. SOFA CLUB - NIGHT

             At Sam's Van, a massive hand grabs Neil.

                                 MAURICE
                       Aie toi!

             Maurice hustles Neil to the alley beside the club entrance.

                                 NEIL
                       My name is McGuire Neil of GPS
                       Security Systems and I'm
                       confiscating stolen property on
                       behalf of LaserTech Incorporated.

                                 MAURICE
                       I don't think so. That is Sammy's
                       van.

             Neil breaks away. He assumes a Kung-Fu stance.

                                 NEIL
                       I'm warning you...hi ya!

             Henri appears beside Maurice.

                                 NEIL
                       ...these hands are registered as
                       lethal weapons with the Surete de
                       Quebec.

             POW! Henri decks him.

                                 MAURICE
                       Hope he can get his money back.

             Sam exits the club, despondent.

                                 MAURICE
                              (calling)
                       Sammy, caught some weasel messing
                       around your van.

             Neil is a crumpled heap in the alley. Sam doesn't look.

                                 SAM
                       Ah, merci, Maurice.

             Sam opens the Van door. The Twins wince at his exposed ass.

                                 MAURICE
                       Aie, Sammy.

             Sam turns.

                                 MAURICE
                       Your ass is sticking out, mon ami.

             Sam feels the hole, waves a sad thanks and hops in his Van.

                                 MAURICE
                              (at the Van)
                       Don't worry about Mary. She'll
                       come around.

             Sam drives off. His Van turns the corner and...

             RAJAGOPALAN PANDITHARADHYAL BALASUBRAMANYAM'S Cab pulls up.

             INT/EXT. RAJ'S CAB - NIGHT

                                 RAJ
                       Nineteen seventy five please.

             Bones hops out and searches in the (Sam's) pockets. He finds
             a crumpled Twenty and pushes it at Raj, the Hindu Cabbie.

                                 BONES
                       Keep the change.

                                 RAJ
                       Are you crazy?

             Bones shrugs and heads into the club.

                                 BONES
                       Hey, boys.

             Henri and Maurice stare at Bones' ill-fitting clothes.

             Raj gets out and approaches Maurice.

                                 RAJ
                       Sir, may I please use the
                       facilities on your premises?

                                 MAURICE
                       Fifteen dollar cover, my friend.
                       You pay, you pee.

                                 RAJ
                       Are you crazy?

             But Raj has to go...now. He sees an alley.

             INT. SOFA CLUB - NIGHT

             Bones enters and runs into Mary.

                                 BONES
                       Mary! Quell surprise!

                                 MARY
                       Bones. That looks like Sam's
                       jacket.

                                 BONES
                       This? Well, yeah. That guy, give
                       you the shirt right off his back.

                                 MARY
                       You were with him?

                                 BONES
                       No, well, yeah. Think it's too big?

                                 MARY
                       Really! Said he was working.  Shows
                       up late dressed like a ninja--

                                 BONES
                       Sam was here?
                              (steps back)
                       Listen Mary, I gotto go find...

             Bones turns around and TJ's in his face.

                                 BONES
                       ...TJ!

                                 TJ
                       I'd given your ass up for dead.

             Mary storms by them. TJ forces Bones back into an alcove.

                                 TJ
                       Where's my black box?

                                 BONES
                       I have it. I mean, I hid it. There
                       was cops. Thought maybe I was
                       followed so I hid it, just in case.

             TJ's starting to burn.

                                 BONES
                       TJ, I'm not going to do anything
                       to screw up my half of this deal.

                                 TJ
                       Your five hundred grand's a pipe-
                       dream until I get my little black
                       box. Where are the boys?

                                 BONES
                       At my place. After you and I
                       complete our deal, I'll swing by
                       and give them their unfair share.

             Bones smirks at his own joke. TJ is not amused.

                                 TJ
                       Bring it to the hangar in three
                       hours.

                                 BONES
                       Excellent idea, Teej.

             TJ slinks back to the club. Beat. Bones scoots.

             EXT. SOFA CLUB - NIGHT

             Neil struggles to get up. He groans when he sees the Van is
             gone. He stumbles toward the Mini, checking his Hand-held.

             Sam's red Blip moves on the Map away from Neil's and the
             Mini's static green Dots. The Beeping intervals increase.

             Neil gets in and starts the Mini.

                                 NEIL
                       Damn!

             Neil leaves it running, gets out and runs to a nearby alley.

             Mary comes out of the club.

                                 MAURICE
                       Is that a night, Mary?

                                 MARY
                       More like a disaster, Maurice.

             Maurice whistles down a cab.

             EXT. RAJ'S ALLEY - NIGHT

             Raj calls out mid-piss from his alley.

                                 RAJ
                       Kindly wait one second, please!

             SPLIT SCREEN WITH: EXT. NEIL'S ALLEY - NIGHT

             Behind the building Neil unzips. Blissful relief.

             Raj is trying to finish but it won't stop.

                                 RAJ (HINDU; SUBTITLED)
                       Way too much tea!

             EXT. SOFA CLUB - NIGHT

             Another Cab pulls up and Mary gets in. Mary's Cab rolls out
             from the curb. Bones exits the club and looks around.

                                 MAURICE
                       Such a short night, Bonesy?

                                 BONES
                       Not so sure about that. Sam go
                       home?

                                 MAURICE
                       Like a sad dog.

             Bones opens the back door of Raj's Cab.

             Raj runs over and slams the door before Bones can enter.

                                 RAJ
                       You are a crazy man!

             Bones sees the Mini. It's running.

             Neil zips up rounding the corner. He stops dead in his tracks.

             SCREEECH! The Mini fishtails around a corner and zooms away.

             Neil runs down the road shouting as his car disappears.

                                 NEIL
                       Not my Mini!

             Raj's Cab pulls away from the curb.

                                 NEIL
                       Taxi!

             Raj stops, Neil jumps in and the Cab races off.

             INT. GPS SECURITY SYSTEMS/CONTROL ROOM - NIGHT

             Howard deflates. The Blip and Dots are separating again.
             Howard shakes the Arab Tech by the shoulders.

                                 HOWARD
                       What's going on?

             Botha enters.

                                 BOTHA
                       Exactly what I was wondering, Mr.
                       Hutchinson-Braunstien.

                                 HOWARD
                       Mr. Botha. What a surprise! To see
                       you, here! Oh, that! Just another
                       situation we're dealing with.
                       We'll be picking up your property
                       very soon. Rest assured.

             They step away from the Arab and whisper.

                                 BOTHA
                       I trust you're aware of the
                       delicacy of this situation.

                                 BOTHA
                       LaserTech would be devastated by
                       any embarrassing publicity.

                                 HOWARD
                       Your package will be delivered to
                       you in no time. And Mum's the word.

             INT. STYLIN' BACHELOR PAD - NIGHT

             TJ's at his computer typing an E-MAIL.

                                 TJ
                              (reads/writes)
                       Traveling in the morning...

                                 BEAUTY (V.O.)
                              (reading)
                       ...the morning. Grandma...

             EXT. JAMAICAN FORTIFIED ESTATE - NIGHT

             Armed Guards patrol the grounds. BAD BOYS and GIRLS hang out
             around the beautiful, BEAUTY.

             Beauty cradles a laptop. A "FORWARDING" icon blinks over TJ's
             incoming E-mail.

                                 BEAUTY
                              (reading)
                       ...Grandma will be attending the
                       celebrations...

                                 GRINGO (V.O.)
                       ...attending the...

             INT. GRINGO'S SANCTUARY - NIGHT

             Gringo reads from his screen.

                                 GRINGO
                       ...celebrations. Tyrone.
                              (calling out)
                       Bingo! We've got mail.

             In the shadows of this high-tech lair, a MAN digests the news.

             INT. STYLIN' BACHELOR PAD - NIGHT

             TJ turns to Maurice. He jots down an address.

                                 TJ
                       Like all successful businessmen,
                       our main goal is to maximize
                       profit. Comprendre?

             Maurice doesn't quite get it.

                                 MAURICE
                       OK boss.

                                 TJ
                              (hands over the paper)
                       Eliminate the middlemen. More for
                       us, my large dumb friend.
                       Economics one-oh-one, n'est ce pas?

                                 MAURICE
                       Certainement, Monsieur TJ.

             INT. NEIL'S MINI/TRAVELING - NIGHT

             Bones corners, high speed. He notices the Dash GPS Display.

             INTERCUT WITH: INT/EXT. RAJ'S CAB/TRAVELING - NIGHT

             Neil is in the back, consulting his Tracker.

                                 NEIL
                       Turn right at the lights. And
                       please, we need to go a little
                       faster...Ra...Rajogo...?

             Neil tries to read the Cabbie ID sign in back.

                                 RAJ
                       Rajagopalan Panditharadhyal
                       Balasubramanyam, but you can call
                       me Raj. I am not permitted to
                       break the law, sir. If we got into
                       an accident when I was breaking--

                                 NEIL
                       Turn right! Turn right!

             Raj cranks on the wheel.

             INTERCUT WITH: INT/EXT. SAM'S VAN/TRAVELING - NIGHT

             Sam sings along with the C&W tune, Cool to be a Fool.

                                 SAM
                       ...If it was cool to be a fool,
                       I'd be the hippest guy around...

             Bones is curious about the Display.

             Sam's Blip Pings and two green Dots flash with their Beeps.

             Bones checks the rear mirror. Raj's Cab speeds toward him.

             On the Mini's Display, one green Dot gains on the other Dot.

             Bones considers this. He sees a street up ahead and turns.

                                 RAJ
                       But I need a destination, sir. I
                       must be able to plan my route.

              Neil consults his Hand-held. He points at the Mini turning.

                                 NEIL
                       Follow the Mini!

             Raj turns the corner. Neil holds on.

                                 RAJ
                       I am not permitted to engage in
                       this type of driving!

                                 NEIL
                       Keep up!

                                 RAJ
                       Are you crazy?!

                                NEIL
                       I'll pay you an extra two hundred
                       if you don't lose that Mini!

                                 RAJ
                       Why did you not inform me of this
                       before, sir?

             Raj boots it around another corner.

             The Mini pops into sight.

             Bones checks the rearview then the Display. The Dots get
             closer.

                                 BONES
                       Me... you...

                                 SAM
                       ...You spend a lotta time feelin'
                       sorry for yourself...

             The gas GAUGE is near empty.

                                 SAM
                              (re: gauge)
                       Figures.
                              (singing)
                       It doesn't really mean...
 
 

                             next ->