Room 101: Chris Tammaro: Meet Me In Kingston

MEET ME IN KINGSTON

by
Chris Tammaro
and Glenn Pineau

Section 1

INT. TROPICAL BEACH/FANTASY - DAY

MARY WORTHINGTON(28-Black) saunters across the sand. ASTRID
GILBERTO'S, THE GIRL FROM IPANEMA, FADES IN.

                                 ASTRID (V.O.)
                       Tall and tan and young and lovely,
                       the girl from Ipanema goes walking...

A MAN'S VOICE, singing off-key, joins in.

                                 ASTRID/MAN (O.S.)
                       ...and when she passes, each one
                       she passes, goes aaah.

             SAM REAGAN(32-White) in his JANITOR'S UNIFORM matches Mary's
             stride, eyeing her from a distance. He pushes a floating
             CLEANING CART over the sand.

Mary releases her SARONG to the wind revealing a DENTAL FLOSS
BIKINI. Sam's brown goddess heads to the sea.

ASTRID/SAM
How can I tell her I love her?...

Mary splashes, water rivulets bead sensually over her body.
A RED DORY bobs in the ocean behind her.

Sam pushes his cart, oblivious to the COCONUT TREE bent
across his path.

ASTRID/SAM
Yes I would give my heart gladly...

Mary turns. Will she see him? She does! And she...SMILES!

Sam's in Nirvana. Another step and he'll crash into the tree.

INT. LASERTECH - NIGHT

CRASH! Sam and his cart tumble down stairs in the corridor of
the high tech facility.

Sam lands hard. A JAMAICAN TRAVEL BROCHURE with a beautiful
girl, similar to Mary, on the cover, lands on his face.

SAM
Okay, who put those stairs there?

Sam lifts the Brochure off his face and groans.

A PENCIL-CAM, UPSIDE DOWN POV:

Sam picks up the mess.

                                 SAM
                       But each day when she walks to the
                       sea...

Behind Sam, a black-clad, masked INFILTRATOR 1, drops to the
floor in stealth mode. He wears the head-mounted PENCIL CAM.

Sam rights his cart. Sam and Mary HAPPY SNAPS adorn the sides.

The Infiltrator cartwheels to a door, hot-wires the card
reader and disappears inside.

Sam turns. Nothing there.

Another Infiltrator 2, sneaks unseen through a large,
windowed work area and vanishes.

Sam rubs his head and pushes his cart around the corner.

SAM/ASTRID
...she looks straight ahead not at me.

INTERCUT WITH: INT. STYLIN' BACHELOR CONDO - NIGHT

A pencil tip writes on a pad of paper: $3,...

WRITING MAN (O.S.)
Gringo Diago, parle to moi.

Writing Man is hidden in a high-backed chair.

GRINGO DIAGO(20-Albino) presses an AUDIO FILE ICON on a DUAL-
SCREEN LAPTOP. An I-POD plays the file into a CELL PHONE.

                                 WEIRD OLD MAN'S VOICE (ON SPEAKER)
                       I really hope this is the right
                       number...

INTERCUT WITH: INT. LASERTECH/SECURITY DESK - NIGHT

ED the Security Guard, on the phone, is perplexed.

                                 WEIRD OLD MAN'S VOICE (V.O.)
                       ...because I was wondering if you
                       could help me?

Behind Ed, on one of the SECURITY MONITORS, Sam trundles on.

On Gringo's other screen is LaserTech's Security Site. A
dialogue box flashes: SECURITY SYSTEM DISABLED.

GRINGO
That's sick!

Gringo punches other keys, then ENTER.

Ed's monitors flutter. On one, Sam, pushing his cart down the
hallway, repeats in a LOOPED PLAYBACK, recorded by Gringo.

Ed, distracted by the phone call, doesn't notice.

ED
Hello?

Sam pushes through the windowed door. They swing shut.

A third Infiltrator 3, slips by behind the doors.

Sam, about to turn back, shrugs and heads to a door marked
CLEANING SUPPLIES.

Gringo touches the next audio file icon.

WEIRD OLD MAN'S VOICE (ON SPEAKER)
Yes, I need help with my thingy...

ED
Your thingy?

All monitors are quiet except one, where Sam's actions repeat.

             GRINGO'S screen displays a second FLASHING Dialogue Box:
             SECURITY MONITORS DISABLED. His other screen has a POV VIDEO
             IMAGE transmitted from the Pencil-cam worn by Infiltrator 1.

Writing continues: $3,000...now we see the Diamond-ringed
fingers of the Mulatto Man.

Sam opens the Supplies door, blocking his view of the
windowed doors as Infiltrators 2 and 3 race by, the other way.

                                 WEIRD OLD MAN'S VOICE (V.O.)
                       Yes. My thingy isn't straight and I
                       was wondering if you could help me?

Sam peeks around. Nothing there. Oh well...

INT. LASERTECH/RESEARCH AREA - NIGHT

             The three Infiltrators enter. Infiltrator 1 is BONES(32-
             Black). He military-style hand signals to the other two then
             crosses to a SAFE.

Infiltrator 2, SPIKE, has GOTHIC PIERCINGS protruding from
the eye, nose and mouth holes in his mask. He whispers.

SPIKE (SIGNING)
What?

Bones returns furious hand signals.

Spike and Infiltrator 3, LARRY, whisper and sign.

SPIKE
What did he say?

LARRY
You're a whore?

SPIKE
You're a bastard!

Bones glares and whispers louder.

BONES
Guard the damn door!

Now they get it.

Bones attaches a TINY SPEAKER wired from his CELLULAR'S
EARPHONE JACK to the Safe door.

Bones scrolls on the cell's MENU and activates 'ALADDIN'.
COMPUTER TONES emanate from the speaker, then stop.

Nothing. Bones sweats. Spike whispers and signs to Larry.

SPIKE
This ain't so groovy, anymore.

Over Mulatto Man's diamond-studded ROLEX: $3,000...

WEIRD OLD MAN'S VOICE (V.O.)
Isn't this The Laser Dick company?

The Safe: CLICK

Bones smiles, he's in. He reaches for the handle.

                                 WEIRD OLD MAN'S VOICE (V.O.)
                       My boyfriend told me Laser Dick
                       can help me with my crooked thingy.

PENCIL-CAM POV of Bones inching the handle down.

Mulatto Man's pencil scratches another zero: $3,000,000...

ED
Damn kids!

             BANG! Ed slams the phone down.
             BANG! The safe handle is down.
             BANG! Gringo hits the table.

GRINGO
Bingo!

Mulatto Man's pencil snaps as he underlines: $3,000,000.

INT. LASERTECH/LOCKER ROOM - NIGHT

Two AIR JAMAICA TICKETS. Sam kisses them and slips them in an
Envelope addressed to MARY, MY LOVE and puts it in his BAG.

SAM
...and when she passes...

Sam checks his clubbing threads in the locker mirror. More
Sam and Mary Happy Snaps are taped to the door.

He slips on his MONTREAL CANADIENS HOCKEY TEAM JACKET with
SAM embroidered on the breast.

SAM
...each one she passes goes...

INT. LASERTECH/SECURITY DESK - NIGHT

Ed turns. Sam's actions replay on the monitor.

ED
AAAH!

He punches a SILENT ALARM.

Ed and a FEMALE GUARD stalk the corridors with guns drawn.

EXT. LASERTECH/PARKING LOT - NIGHT

Sam, bag over one shoulder, is on his cell.

                                 SAM
                       No baby, I said I couldn't get off
                       before 10:30.

INTERCUT WITH INT. SOFA CLUB - NIGHT

Mary sits alone, on her cell, in the busy, ultra lounge music
club. She's hotter than Sam's dream but...not smiling.

                                 MARY
                       No baby, you said you'd meet me at
                       the Sofa at 10:30.

A SMOOTH OPERATOR sidles up close, eyeing Mary.

MARY
Buzz off, loser.

SAM
Loser?!

MARY
Not you, Sammy.

                                 SAM
                       Mary look, I'm sorry. I must've
                       misunderstood but I'll be right
                       there. I got something great to
                       show you. You'll love it! Promise.

INT. STYLIN' BACHELOR CONDO - NIGHT

             The chair spins revealing the Mulatto hands belong to...TJ
             JOHNSON(40). He's calm, cool, collected and lethal. TJ rips
            the page from the pad and crumples it in his fist.

Gringo packs up his computers.

GRINGO
With that be cash, or cash?

                                 TJ
                       Don't worry, you'll get what you
                       deserve.

Gringo eyes TJ.

                                 GRINGO
                       Ask around and see, my friend.
                       Gringo Diago is your worst choice
                       as a rip-off candidate.

TJ
Your reputation precedes you, Amigo.

Gringo returns to packing.

EXT. LASERTECH PARKING LOT - NIGHT

Beside his OLD PANEL VAN, Sam pulls his KEYS from his pocket.

A LOONIE falls out and rolls away. Sam dives down to chase it.

Two Infiltrators race past nearby parked cars.

On the ground, Sam is sure he's heard something this time.

The Guards exit a back door and see...

The Infiltrators running across the manicured grounds.

ED
FREEZE!

BANG! ED fires a warning shot. The Guards take chase.

Sam, Loonie in hand, bolts up beside the Van.

The Guards hoof it after the Infiltrators into the distance.

Sam steps around the back of the Van. BAM! A third
Infiltrator, in full flight, plows right into Sam.

They crash to the ground. Sam's keys fly under a car.

The Masked Man groans. Sam pulls the Infiltrator's hood off.

SAM
Bones?

Bones opens one eye.

BONES
Oh Lordie, that hurt.

Sam can't believe it!

                                 BONES
                       Double-oh-seven, Sammy. Licence to
                       thrill.

ED (O.S.)
Freeze! You two! Freeze!

Sam turns toward the distant voice.

SMASH! Bones knocks out Sam with a small BLACK METAL BOX.

BONES
Sorry, buddy.

Bones gets up. He sees...

The Guards run over a hill.

SIRENS blare in the distance. Bones looks for an escape, then
down at a half-conscious Sam. Bones gets an idea.

POLICE CARS swarm the compound. The Guards return to the
parking lot, empty handed and upset.

             DETECTIVE SYLVIE FRECHETTE exits her UNMARKED CAR, dispersing
             OFFICERS around and into LaserTech. The Guards run over to
             her by Sam's Van.

ED
Two got away but there's one more!

SYLVIE
Is he still in the building?

ED
I don't know. Our security system--

MUFFLED MAN'S VOICE (O.S.)
Help.

They turn and pull their guns.

SYLVIE
Arretez! Police!

An Infiltrator crawls next to the van. He pulls off his mask.

ED
Sam Reagan?

It's Sam!..with a SOCK jammed in his mouth. He spits it out,
gasping.

SAM
Water.

INT. SOFA CLUB - NIGHT

Mary checks her watch. A drink is placed on her table.

MARY
I didn't order this.

WAITRESS
It's from Monsieur TJ, ma chere.

Mary turns to see TJ acknowledge her.

                                 MARY
                       Tell Mr. Johnson that I don't
                       accept drinks from strange men.

WAITRESS
He don't take no for an answer.

MARY
He has from me, ma chere.

The Waitress shrugs and leaves the drink anyway.

TJ makes his way through his adoring CLIENTELE toward Mary.

MARY
Damn you, Sam Reagan.

TJ
Hey, sugar.

EXT. DEAD END DIRT LANE - NIGHT

Bones stops short, panting. He's in Sam's clothes and hockey
jacket, three sizes too big. He sees...

Weaving SKID MARKS in the dirt indicating a fast get-away.

BONES
Traitors! Bastards! Wimps!

INT. LASERTECH/OFFICE - NIGHT

Sam takes a drink of water as a MEDIC tends to his head. He
picks sock LINT from his teeth.

Sylvie leans on a NO SMOKING sign and exhales smoke at Sam.

                                 SAM
                       After that I heard a shot and Ed
                       yelling something. Then I woke up
                       where you found me.

                                 SYLVIE
                       I don't have the money for this
                       shit you're trying to sell me!
                       Now, for the third time, I want
                       you to tell me the real answer,
                       Mr?...

                                 SAM
                              (simmering)
                       Reagan. I told you five times.
                       Someone switched clothes with me!
                       My backpack's missing.

                                 SAM
                       I had two tickets for Jamaica in
                       there! I'm the victim here, okay!

SECOND DETECTIVE raps on the glass outside the office for
Sylvie. He's with ALBERT BOTHA(50s), the owner of LaserTech.

Sylvie makes her way to the door.

SAM
Look, I want my phone call.

                                 SYLVIE
                       Mais oui, the lawyer disguised as
                       a janitor.

The Cops in the office smirk at Sam.

Second Detective hands Sylvie Sam's car keys.

Sam watches as Sylvie speaks with Botha. They all look at Sam.

Sam scans the room. Everyone's staring. Sylvie returns.

                                 SYLVIE
                       There's a very bad smell about
                       you...
                              (in Sam's face)
                       I find out you lied to me I'll
                       lock you up faster than you can
                       say, Montreal Canadiens...

EXT. TROPICAL BEACH/FANTASY - DAY

Sylvie, in a DIOR/COP tropical get-up, pushes Sam into a JAIL
CELL. Two biker INMATES toast Sam with umbrella drinks.

SYLVIE (V.O.)
...and throw away the lock!

Sylvie laughs as she throws away the key. Mary watches from
the shore with a disapproving scowl.

INT. LASERTECH/OFFICE - NIGHT

                                 SYLVIE
                       It's your little fantasie, Samuel
                       Thomas Reagan. And it stinks.

Sylvie drops Sam's keys in his crotch.

                                 SYLVIE
                       Your boss, Mr. Botha, vouches for
                       you. Now get out of my eyes!

Sam catches Botha, staring at him.

SYLVIE
Va t'en!

As Sam stands he looks over again. Botha's gone.

INT. LASERTECH/REAR CORRIDOR - NIGHT

Sam is about to exit a rear door.

BOTHA (O.S.)
Sam.

Botha steps out of the shadows.

BOTHA
Hey, you okay to drive home?

                                 SAM
                       Yeah. And thanks for clearing me
                       back there, Mr. Botha.

                                 BOTHA
                       Sam, you deserve my protection. I
                       trust you. But, between you and I,
                       you're sure you didn't see any of
                       the thieves tonight?

SAM
But, I thought nothing was stolen.

                                 BOTHA
                       Indeed Sam, you're quite correct.
                       But, the men who broke in, could
                       you identify any of them?

                                 SAM
                       No, sir. I really wish I could
                       tell you more, other than I've got
                       one sore head.

BOTHA
Sam. Have a good night.

Sam opens the door.

SAM
You, too.

INT. SOFA CLUB/WOMEN'S ROOM - NIGHT

Mary's in a stall on her cell.

                                 MARY
                       Answer the phone, Sam. This is
                       your last chance.

EXT. LASERTECH/PARKING LOT - NIGHT

Sam opens the Van door. He hears a muffled, Hockey Night in
Canada cellphone RING.

Sam crouches and sees...his bag jammed under the Van.

RING. Sam squirms, determined to reach the bag, inches away.

INT. SOFA CLUB/WOMEN'S ROOM - NIGHT

Impatient WOMEN wait in line. A WOMAN bangs on the door.

Inside the stall, Mary hears another ring. She hangs up and
opens the door to face the Woman.

MARY
What!?

EXT. LASERTECH/PARKING LOT - NIGHT

Sam stretches. RRRIP! He's got his bag. He slides out from
under the Van.

Fumbling in a side pocket, Sam answers the cell as it stops
mid-ring.

SAM
Hello? Mary? Hello? Damn!

Sam hops in the Van with his bag, his ass exposed in the
ripped leotard.

INT. SOFA CLUB - NIGHT

Mary enters and sees...

TJ waiting at her table.

Mary's cell goes off. She checks the caller ID.

                                 MARY
                       You're going to have to grovel in
                       person this time, Sam Reagan.

Mary hangs up, sighs and slips into a sexy saunter toward TJ.

INT. GPS SECURITY SYSTEMS/CONTROL ROOM - NIGHT

An ARAB TECH practices TAPE-RECORDED PHRASES. Behind him is
a large bank of GPS TRACKING MONITORS.

                                 ARAB TECH
                              (heavy accent)
                       Ou est la toilette?

INT/EXT.SAM'S VAN-TRAVELLING/LASERTECH-PARKING LOT - NIGHT

SAM
Come on Mary, answer the phone!

As Sam races through the gate trying to phone Mary, the Van
trips a SENSOR. It's light changes from GREEN to FLASHING RED.

RECORDED VOICE (V.O.)
J'ai besoin du papier du toilette.

INT. GPS SECURITY SYSTEMS/CONTROL ROOM - NIGHT

ARAB TECH
J'ai besoin--

A RED BLIP begins to pulse and PING with a constant frequency
and tone on one of the many monitors in front of him.

Oh no! Panic! What to do?

INT. HOWARD'S HOME/MASTER BEDROOM - NIGHT

A ringing phone on a night table. GPS Security is displayed
in the caller ID window. It's scooped up.

                                 HOWARD
                       This is Howard Bradford Hutchinson-
                       Braunstien for GPS Security
                       Systems. State your six digit
                       security code and your full name.

Howard's bed-head, comb-over stands straight up.

                                 ARAB TECH (O.S.)
                       Five hundred and thirty-three
                       thousand,--

Howard refers to a laminated sheet of codes and names.

HOWARD
Not like that! Digit by digit.

ARAB TECH (O.S.)
Oh. So sorry. Five-three-three--

                                 HOWARD
                      Is that two threes or did you
                       repeat the second digit?

                                 ARAB TECH
                       No. Not two-three, five-three-
                       three...

INT. SOFA CLUB - NIGHT

Mary stands at the table.

MARY
Remind me again?

TJ
Have a seat. Please.

Mary slides in closer to TJ.

                                 MARY
                       Of all names, why Tyrone Johnson?
                       It's so...ethnic.

TJ
Never stop pushing, do you Mary?

                                 MARY
                       Yeah TJ, but I know you better
                       than most. It's hard to keep
                       secrets from someone you've been--

TJ
Close to, as in you and me?

MARY
And Giselle?

GISELLE, draped across a stool, throws Mary the evil eye.

                                 TJ
                       She's sugar-fine. Looks after her
                       daddy's every desire. But, it
                       don't come close to what you and
                       I shared. Now baby, that
                       was...special.

                                 MARY
                       That's so sweet. I'll give you
                       this TJ, you haven't lost the
                       gift. Even if you are full of crap.

INT. HOWARD'S CAR/TRAVELING - NIGHT

Howard's comb-over bends where it sticks into the roof.

EXT. GPS SECURITY SYSTEMS - NIGHT

Howard stops his Lexus and gets out to greet MCGUIRE NEIL.

                                 HOWARD
                       Thanks for waiting, Neil. A very
                      sensitive situation has developed
                       and I need to have a word with you
                       about it in private first.

                                 NEIL
                       I'm ready to do anything and
                       everything in my power to bring a
                       swift and satisfactory resolution
                       to the crisis our client is
                       experiencing at this time, Sir.

HOWARD
Walk with me.

Howard leads him through the parking lot.

HOWARD
Do you have your RG-710?

Neil holds up his GPS TRACKING device. (palm pilot size)

                                 NEIL
                       Never leave home without it. I've
                       acquired our quarry.

Sam's Red Tracking Blip moves on the SCREEN MAP and Neil's
static GREEN TRACKING DOT, indicating Neil's position, pulses.

                                 HOWARD
                       You're our best tracker at GPS
                       Security. In fact, you were the
                       only one I called for this mission.

Neil dials up the Audio and Neil's Dot BEEPS with each pulse.

NEIL
Roger that, Sir. He's close.

                                 HOWARD
                       I'm putting the latest acquisition
                       to our Tracking technology at your
                       disposal on this one, McGuire.

Howard indicates the Jet-black MINI COOPER S in front of them.

                                 NEIL
                       Most excellent, sir. This'll
                       guarantee the little rascal will
                       be back in bed in no time.

Neil is all over the Mini.

                                 HOWARD
                       I trust you completely on that,
                       Neil. But on this mission,
                       everything must be kept completely
                       confidential. Is that clear?

Neil hops in. He powers on the DASH-BOARD GPS TRACKER, the
same idea as Neil's Hand-held model.

                                 NEIL
                       As clear as the St. Lawrence
                       River, Sir.

Neil fires up the Mini and glories at the sound.

                                 HOWARD
                       Neil, the St. Lawrence isn't
                       really that clear these days.

                                 NEIL
                       Oh. Then, like it was a long time
                       ago. Sir.

Neil squeals away, grinding gears. Howard's...a bit confused.

EXT. SOFA CLUB - NIGHT

PATRONS wait in line. Sam stops, his Van door closest to the
curb on the one-way road. He hops out and heads to the club.

MAURICE, the huge bouncer stops him.

                                 MAURICE
                       Aie, Sammy, you can't leave your
                       van there.

SAM
Just one minute, Maurice. Please?

Sam opens the door revealing HENRI, Maurice's bigger Twin,
the other bouncer. Maurice sees Sam's exposed behind.

MAURICE
Aie, Sammy.

SAM
Quoi?

Henri sees Sam's ass as Sam turns back.

                                 MAURICE
                              (smirks at Henri)
                       Never mind.

Sam passes by Henri.

HENRI
Bonsoir, Sammy.

The Mini slides to a stop, across the road.

INT/EXT. NEIL'S MINI - NIGHT

Neil aims his Hand-held at Sam's Van. The Beeping accelerates.

INT. SOFA CLUB - NIGHT

Sam enters and gets distracted by a Patron.

Mary spies Sam by the door.

MARY
Dance with me, TJ.

Mary pulls TJ to the floor before he can refuse.

Sam sees Mary and TJ dance. Sam breaks from the Patron.

                                 TJ
                       I thought you told Daddy TJ our
                       dancing days were over for good.

                                 MARY
                       My Momma always says, never say
                       never.

                                 TJ
                       Listen Mary, I got business to
                       take care of down south. Why not
                       come with, take in a little sun?

Sam moves closer. Off his dismayed look.

EXT. SOFA CLUB - NIGHT

The Hand-held's Beeps speed up as Neil approaches the Van.

Neil coaxes the sliding door open. Sam's Backpack lies
between the seats. Neil holds the Tracker over the bag.

Neil's green Dot and the red Blip on the Tracker screen
align. The Beeps and Ping becomes a TONE.

                                 NEIL
                       There oughta be an award show for
                       guys like me!

INT. GPS SECURITY SYSTEMS/CONTROL ROOM - NIGHT

Howard slaps the Arab Tech on the back. The same Tracker
alignment and tone are broadcast on the control screen.

                                 HOWARD
                              (checking his watch)
                       Son of a...That's got to be a new
                       record!

INT. SOFA CLUB - NIGHT

A small crowd's gathered behind Sam.

Mary and TJ watch him but continue dancing.

Sam approaches. People snicker but he ignores them.

SAM
Hey, Mary. TJ.

MARY
You're late, Sam.

SAM
I know. Mary, can we go?

Mary buries her head in TJ's shoulder as she turns TJ to Sam.

TJ
Sam, what the hell are you wearing?

Mary's snub hurt. Sam leaves, his ass poking out of the tear.

TJ
What a fool.

Tears well in Mary's eyes. Patrons laugh out loud.

EXT. SOFA CLUB - NIGHT

At Sam's Van, a massive hand grabs Neil.

MAURICE
Aie toi!

Maurice hustles Neil to the alley beside the club entrance.

                                 NEIL
                       My name is McGuire Neil of GPS
                       Security Systems and I'm
                       confiscating stolen property on
                       behalf of LaserTech Incorporated.

                                 MAURICE
                       I don't think so. That is Sammy's
                       van.

Neil breaks away. He assumes a Kung-Fu stance.

NEIL
I'm warning you...hi ya!

Henri appears beside Maurice.

                                 NEIL
                       ...these hands are registered as
                       lethal weapons with the Surete de
                       Quebec.

POW! Henri decks him.

MAURICE
Hope he can get his money back.

Sam exits the club, despondent.

                                 MAURICE
                              (calling)
                       Sammy, caught some weasel messing
                       around your van.

Neil is a crumpled heap in the alley. Sam doesn't look.

SAM
Ah, merci, Maurice.

Sam opens the Van door. The Twins wince at his exposed ass.

MAURICE
Aie, Sammy.

Sam turns.

MAURICE
Your ass is sticking out, mon ami.

Sam feels the hole, waves a sad thanks and hops in his Van.

                                 MAURICE
                              (at the Van)
                       Don't worry about Mary. She'll
                       come around.

Sam drives off. His Van turns the corner and...

RAJAGOPALAN PANDITHARADHYAL BALASUBRAMANYAM'S Cab pulls up.

INT/EXT. RAJ'S CAB - NIGHT

RAJ
Nineteen seventy five please.

Bones hops out and searches in the (Sam's) pockets. He finds
a crumpled Twenty and pushes it at Raj, the Hindu Cabbie.

BONES
Keep the change.

RAJ
Are you crazy?

Bones shrugs and heads into the club.

BONES
Hey, boys.

Henri and Maurice stare at Bones' ill-fitting clothes.

Raj gets out and approaches Maurice.

                                 RAJ
                       Sir, may I please use the
                       facilities on your premises?

                                 MAURICE
                       Fifteen dollar cover, my friend.
                       You pay, you pee.

RAJ
Are you crazy?

But Raj has to go...now. He sees an alley.

INT. SOFA CLUB - NIGHT

Bones enters and runs into Mary.

BONES
Mary! Quell surprise!

                                 MARY
                       Bones. That looks like Sam's
                       jacket.

                                 BONES
                       This? Well, yeah. That guy, give
                       you the shirt right off his back.

MARY
You were with him?

BONES
No, well, yeah. Think it's too big?

                                 MARY
                       Really! Said he was working. Shows
                       up late dressed like a ninja--

                                 BONES
                       Sam was here?
                              (steps back)
                       Listen Mary, I gotto go find...

Bones turns around and TJ's in his face.

BONES
...TJ!

TJ
I'd given your ass up for dead.

Mary storms by them. TJ forces Bones back into an alcove.

TJ
Where's my black box?

                                 BONES
                       I have it. I mean, I hid it. There
                       was cops. Thought maybe I was
                       followed so I hid it, just in case.

TJ's starting to burn.

                                 BONES
                       TJ, I'm not going to do anything
                       to screw up my half of this deal.

                                 TJ
                       Your five hundred grand's a pipe-
                       dream until I get my little black
                       box. Where are the boys?

                                 BONES
                       At my place. After you and I
                       complete our deal, I'll swing by
                       and give them their unfair share.

Bones smirks at his own joke. TJ is not amused.

                                 TJ
                       Bring it to the hangar in three
                       hours.

BONES
Excellent idea, Teej.

TJ slinks back to the club. Beat. Bones scoots.

EXT. SOFA CLUB - NIGHT

Neil struggles to get up. He groans when he sees the Van is
gone. He stumbles toward the Mini, checking his Hand-held.

Sam's red Blip moves on the Map away from Neil's and the
Mini's static green Dots. The Beeping intervals increase.

Neil gets in and starts the Mini.

NEIL
Damn!

Neil leaves it running, gets out and runs to a nearby alley.

Mary comes out of the club.

MAURICE
Is that a night, Mary?

MARY
More like a disaster, Maurice.

Maurice whistles down a cab.

EXT. RAJ'S ALLEY - NIGHT

Raj calls out mid-piss from his alley.

RAJ
Kindly wait one second, please!

SPLIT SCREEN WITH: EXT. NEIL'S ALLEY - NIGHT

Behind the building Neil unzips. Blissful relief.

Raj is trying to finish but it won't stop.

RAJ (HINDU; SUBTITLED)
Way too much tea!

EXT. SOFA CLUB - NIGHT

Another Cab pulls up and Mary gets in. Mary's Cab rolls out
from the curb. Bones exits the club and looks around.

MAURICE
Such a short night, Bonesy?

                                 BONES
                       Not so sure about that. Sam go
                       home?

MAURICE
Like a sad dog.

Bones opens the back door of Raj's Cab.

Raj runs over and slams the door before Bones can enter.

RAJ
You are a crazy man!

Bones sees the Mini. It's running.

Neil zips up rounding the corner. He stops dead in his tracks.

SCREEECH! The Mini fishtails around a corner and zooms away.

Neil runs down the road shouting as his car disappears.

NEIL
Not my Mini!

Raj's Cab pulls away from the curb.

NEIL
Taxi!

Raj stops, Neil jumps in and the Cab races off.

INT. GPS SECURITY SYSTEMS/CONTROL ROOM - NIGHT

Howard deflates. The Blip and Dots are separating again.
Howard shakes the Arab Tech by the shoulders.

HOWARD
What's going on?

Botha enters.

                                 BOTHA
                       Exactly what I was wondering, Mr.
                       Hutchinson-Braunstien.

                                 HOWARD
                       Mr. Botha. What a surprise! To see
                       you, here! Oh, that! Just another
                       situation we're dealing with.
                       We'll be picking up your property
                       very soon. Rest assured.

They step away from the Arab and whisper.

                                 BOTHA
                       I trust you're aware of the
                       delicacy of this situation.

                                 BOTHA
                       LaserTech would be devastated by
                       any embarrassing publicity.

                                 HOWARD
                       Your package will be delivered to
                       you in no time. And Mum's the word.

INT. STYLIN' BACHELOR PAD - NIGHT

TJ's at his computer typing an E-MAIL.

                                 TJ
                              (reads/writes)
                       Traveling in the morning...

                                 BEAUTY (V.O.)
                              (reading)
                       ...the morning. Grandma...

EXT. JAMAICAN FORTIFIED ESTATE - NIGHT

Armed Guards patrol the grounds. BAD BOYS and GIRLS hang out
around the beautiful, BEAUTY.

Beauty cradles a laptop. A "FORWARDING" icon blinks over TJ's
incoming E-mail.

                                 BEAUTY
                              (reading)
                       ...Grandma will be attending the
                       celebrations...

GRINGO (V.O.)
...attending the...

INT. GRINGO'S SANCTUARY - NIGHT

Gringo reads from his screen.

                                 GRINGO
                       ...celebrations. Tyrone.
                              (calling out)
                       Bingo! We've got mail.

In the shadows of this high-tech lair, a MAN digests the news.

INT. STYLIN' BACHELOR PAD - NIGHT

TJ turns to Maurice. He jots down an address.

                                 TJ
                       Like all successful businessmen,
                       our main goal is to maximize
                       profit. Comprendre?

Maurice doesn't quite get it.

MAURICE
OK boss.

                                 TJ
                              (hands over the paper)
                       Eliminate the middlemen. More for
                       us, my large dumb friend.
                       Economics one-oh-one, n'est ce pas?

MAURICE
Certainement, Monsieur TJ.

INT. NEIL'S MINI/TRAVELING - NIGHT

Bones corners, high speed. He notices the Dash GPS Display.

INTERCUT WITH: INT/EXT. RAJ'S CAB/TRAVELING - NIGHT

Neil is in the back, consulting his Tracker.

                                 NEIL
                       Turn right at the lights. And
                       please, we need to go a little
                       faster...Ra...Rajogo...?

Neil tries to read the Cabbie ID sign in back.

                                 RAJ
                       Rajagopalan Panditharadhyal
                       Balasubramanyam, but you can call
                       me Raj. I am not permitted to
                       break the law, sir. If we got into
                       an accident when I was breaking--

NEIL
Turn right! Turn right!

Raj cranks on the wheel.

INTERCUT WITH: INT/EXT. SAM'S VAN/TRAVELING - NIGHT

Sam sings along with the C&W tune, Cool to be a Fool.

                                 SAM
                       ...If it was cool to be a fool,
                       I'd be the hippest guy around...

Bones is curious about the Display.

Sam's Blip Pings and two green Dots flash with their Beeps.

Bones checks the rear mirror. Raj's Cab speeds toward him.

On the Mini's Display, one green Dot gains on the other Dot.

Bones considers this. He sees a street up ahead and turns.

                                 RAJ
                       But I need a destination, sir. I
                       must be able to plan my route.

Neil consults his Hand-held. He points at the Mini turning.

NEIL
Follow the Mini!

Raj turns the corner. Neil holds on.

                                 RAJ
                       I am not permitted to engage in
                       this type of driving!

NEIL
Keep up!

RAJ
Are you crazy?!

                                NEIL
                       I'll pay you an extra two hundred
                       if you don't lose that Mini!

                                 RAJ
                       Why did you not inform me of this
                       before, sir?

Raj boots it around another corner.

The Mini pops into sight.

Bones checks the rearview then the Display. The Dots get
closer.

BONES
Me... you...

                                 SAM
                       ...You spend a lotta time feelin'
                       sorry for yourself...

The gas GAUGE is near empty.

                                 SAM
                              (re: gauge)
                       Figures.
                              (singing)
                       It doesn't really mean...

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